Insanity: Max 30 Week One – Complete!

So I read the term “doesn’t hoist my particular sails” as a way of saying, “I’m just not that into him/her/it,” and I think it’s my new favorite saying. That being said, hot damn ladies and gentlemen it is Friday. I love Friday. Does anyone not love Friday? I mean, even when I worked weekend mornings, Friday nights were always nice and quiet nights in that I looked forward to. Now that I have a job with regular hours, I like it even more. When I get off of work today, this never fails, I get two full days off to do whatever I want. Can we just take a minute to remember this? I mean, in all reality, I can do whatever I want when I get off at 5pm during the week but I usually save that time for obligations and commitments (I’m looking at you, laundry). That way, I get to spend Saturday and Sunday being either the laziest or most social person ever. This weekend I have both days at least relatively planned out:

I look exactly like this at Neato Burrito.

I look exactly like this at Neato Burrito.

Saturday – Hot Yoga, coffee, travelling to PA to visit friends and get Neato Burrito, then Wegmans. I can’t describe to you how much I love Neato Burrito and I haven’t had it since last May. I shunned it for a long while after a break up but like, the craving is so real.

Sunday – My first ever Spinning class (!), then some meal prep and coffee with a friend. And then Walking Dead. I am still in denial after the mid-season finale so I’m not even going to talk about it or I will throw my keyboard.

I think that’s a pretty nice looking weekend set up there. I kind of want to applaud myself. Anyway, I’ve set up my list of things (I’m still looking for ideas for food, though I’ve added a few) and it’s looking pretty nice. I even added giving blood to my list because I never have and I probably should. I don’t want to. I would rather run screaming through the streets in my underwear (I wish I could say I’ve never done this before) than have a long needle shoved in my arm but it does something valuable and I probably should do it at least once. Not this weekend though!

spinning classMy friend Taylor (who will likely be dragged to a lot of these new ‘first time’ events) and I are going to our first spinning class, as I mentioned. I wanted to go somewhere that was specifically for cycling, rather than a gym that has cycling classes. We’re checking out a place in Gaithersburg. I will have more information for you on Sunday! I fully intend on bringing a barf bag and will probably use it and I’ve pretty much accepted that. I never pictured getting excited for a class that included “free weights” as a part of the already intense spinning class. But, more on this later.

Today ended my first week of Insanity: Max 30. Now, my only past history of Insanity or any other Beachbody workout (i.e. P90X,  T25, other letter and number combinations) is one futile attempt at the original Insanity and one P90X workout that I couldn’t do properly because I didn’t have a pull up bar latched over my college apartment door. The former was the recovery workout and my little sister and her then boyfriend watched from the couch and laughed at me absolutely dying (not my prime). The latter was a genuine workout but I couldn’t do it properly because I was a.) probably closing in on 170 pounds on a 5’2″ frame that’s really not supposed to be that much and b.) I had no idea how to properly do any hardcore workout like that. I did try a Jillian Michaels video once but I distinctly remember absolutely hating it because of running man. Cheerleading, swimming, other sports that have some sort of overseer to keep me from murdering myself, etc. are the things I usually lean toward. It’s also one of the reasons I love my yoga classes so much. Little chance to majorly fuck up. But after seeing the freaking fabulous results my friend Taylor is getting from Insanity (if you’re reading this: you go girl), I kind of had to try it. If only to build up my tolerance to HIIT before going back to Soldierfit regularly so I don’t promptly puke and die. Which, knowing me, is pretty possible.

So, readers, I’m not sure how much you know or care about Insanity, but it’s two different sets of workouts for the first and second month. Each day is different, and the following month each day has the same basic idea (Monday is cardio for both months, Friday is the most brutal, etc.), but the second month is way more intense. I think I’m going to do a weekly review to check in on how I’m feeling.

The Workouts:

Monday – The cardio for some reason brutalized me. I found myself following the modifier a lot because that much jumping will straight result in me giving myself a black eye. And if you don’t know how that’s possible, you aren’t a well-endowed woman. Also reminded me to quit smokininsanity shitg for good.

Tuesday – I accidentally switched my Tabata classes. Tuesday I should’ve done Tabata Power but I did Tabata Strength, which was the harder of the two (in my opinion). The 10 second rest that tabata usually had wasn’t a rest, but a jog. Or, in floor exercises, child’s pose (so, that was sort of a rest). Brutal. Felt pretty darn sore the next day.

Wednesday – “Sweat Intervals” is the name and it didn’t lie. At all. It told the total truth. Ouch. Brutal.

Thursday – Tabata Power (what I’m supposed to do on Tuesday) was probably my favorite workout. Really challenging, a lot of push ups and tricep dips. Great ab work. I really liked this one.

Friday – “Friday Fight Night Round 1”. Holy god. Combines aspects from all of the other classes. Want to die. Had to actually pause the video once to both let my dog out and dramatically drape my body across the ottoman. Such a hard class. Great ending to the week. A lot, if not all, of these have plyometrics in them, which I kind of hate but only because I suck at it.

Overall thoughts: 

I really like it. I love that it’s a half hour long, the workouts are a nice way to burn a decent amount of calories (I’ve read it can range from 300-500 calories for someone of my general weight, depending on how hard I push) and I can fit it in before work, which
handstandmotherfuckaI appreciate. I’m really not a fan of after work exercise unless it’s running or yoga because I use those to de-stress. It’s definitely hard but I look forward to the challenge. I also bought the E&E (Energy and Endurance) pre-workout at the suggestion of my friend Taylor. I told her that I needed something to wake me up in the morning because getting up at 6 a.m. is still difficult. She raved about how well it worked and I tried it and while it tastes like lemony butthole, it definitely wakes me up. Once I’ve used it up, I’ll probably try another, but I like it a lot effect-wise. I love Shaun T though, I have no idea why. He’s just so fun. I often respond to him when he asks the camera a question (not crazy), but it’s usually full of expletives. This morning there was a “Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker why do you hate me-” rant.

I have an ab video I can do tomorrow, so I’m going to try that before I go to hot yoga. Because why not prequel a really hard workout with a really hard workout? And if you don’t think hot yoga is a hard workout, please come to Sol Yoga and have Luke as your instructor in a 90 degree room then feel free to eat your words, I’ll wait. This week also included almost two hours of aerial yoga, but I don’t want to write too much about that until next week. There will be photos and I will look like a magician.

That all being said, hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. Get ready for burrito and spinning pictures. Not at the same time. Dear god not at the same time.

– a.