As much as I am not a fan of it, I work second shift at my job about 90 percent of the time. This means, with my hour commute, I’m not home until 11:30pm-midnight five nights a week. While I was one of those kids that stayed up until 2-3am in college (and high school…whoops), my sleep schedule has somehow regularized itself over the past almost year since graduation. When it hits 11pm, I start yawning. I’m usually out by 12:30-1am and awake by 9-9:30am. The only problem? Sometimes I don’t even get off of work until 11pm. Frustrating? Extremely. I think it’s the hour commute that makes it the hardest. And I’m talking a no traffic hour commute, as in close to 60 miles. One of my main sticking points when looking for jobs now is, at least for the most part, regular hours. I have no problem going in early or staying late or working weird hours on occasion but I’m 23 and since picking up a job at 16, have yet to have any form of regular schedule, let alone weekends.
But that’s not why I decided to put down my book and write this post. What I noticed in the past probably couple months is that when I get home from work, no matter how much I ate or how well I spaced my meals out, I am hungry when I get home. Or even if I’m not that hungry, I automatically go to the fridge and open it. I’m fabulous at grazing the fridge and pantry as it is (boredom eater…I know), but it’s started to get pretty bad. I don’t understand why my body gets hungry at midnight, or wants me to eat at midnight. I’ve gotten good at meals being at 11am, 3:30-5pm (sometimes a snack, then a meal at 5), and again at 8. I don’t like eating at the whacked out times but I have to sit with 60 patients for a half hour at 5pm for their dinner and it’s really hard to not eat with them.
Generally, my meals are healthy throughout the day, though the past week I’ve noticed myself eating significantly more. For example, I made myself a hearty breakfast of egg, chicken, leftover jalapeno pesto, and swiss cheese atop toast (homemade bread, too!) and only two hours later I had made myself a smoothie of frozen fruit and broccoli, strawberry protein powder (wouldn’t do that again…chocolate instead), yogurt, a few chocolate pieces, and milk. Both were great healthy options but I didn’t need both and not within a two hour time span. I was stuffed for HOURS. I ate again later at work, nothing heavy, but still came home at midnight and managed to annihilate leftovers.
What I used to do in PA was mix frozen fruit with a few super dark chocolate chips and that satisfied me. Maybe it’s being home at my parents’ house that makes me want to eat more, even though overall they have less of a selection than I did. I think I had more fresh produce, weirdly enough. My parents are better at meal planning than I am, however. I just go to the store and see all the produce and think, “I could cook that? I could cook that!” I should start a cooking show and have that as my trademark.
So that’s what I did last night when I started wanting something in my belly. I think it’s kind of like my addiction to smoking – I just want the familiarity and comfort of putting something in my mouth. All jokes aside, because I did just say “THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID” aloud too, I don’t like my nocturnal eating. I’ve done it since I was a kid, I used to sneak snack cakes (sorry Mom) and other like things. I don’t know where or why the habit came from but by now, I’m sick of it. So I think I’m going to do what I did with smoking – cut it short, then cut it out. I’m going back to the frozen fruit plan where I have a bowl of frozen fruit when I get home with my tea for a week or two, then I’m not letting myself eat when I get home anymore. I have to remind myself that I’m not actually hungry, if I were, I could’ve eaten at work where I have a stockpile of healthy frozen meals and dishes in the freezer. Last night I mixed frozen fruit, probably a cup, a 100 calorie packet of cocoa roasted almonds (favorite), and a small handful of M&Ms, because I’m out of my super dark chocolate. The M&Ms are my dad’s, I think. I am assuming these blossoming chocolate cravings are coming from his side of the family.
To complete my motivation fail out, I haven’t been to the gym in a week and a half. Okay, so some of you are probably rolling your eyes. For me, trying to get into shape, that’s a big deal. But, I do have plans to go Saturday as part of a girl’s day. Which I will be regaling to you in UTMOST DETAIL after Saturday. Man-thing and Taylor’s other roommate are out of town visiting family for the weekend so we are taking advantage of this rare momentous Saturday off! Well, it’s rare and momentous for me, not so much for her. Speaking of Man-thing, I had this weird moment the other night where I admitted that was uncomfortable with my body and didn’t like it very much and it made me shy sometimes and shameful. He, being a proper Man-thing, told me I had nothing to be ashamed of at all.
I just need to get back into the swing of things and stop moping over my crap schedule. Yes, it sucks and yes for some reason I’m the only long term full-time staff member without a regular schedule now but I can roll with the punches and still go to classes. I’ve been a little freaked out about going to the yoga class on Thursday mornings though, because I felt like a total moron last time I went. I’m not sure why, it was Yoga 2, but I struggled with some of the moves and felt like I was in positions wrong. It was bizarre.
Last bit – I went against the grain and dyed my hair dark for spring! I’m a brunette again! It’s actually darker than I intended, but, I still like it. Man-thing does too, I think. He had been trying to convince me to go dark red! By the way, I added the hyphen because every time I typed “Manthing”, I pictured a furry beast in a top hat.
Planning posts for the week as I type, because I’m finally out of my funk and back, baby!